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Thread: The English Plural

  1. #1
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    Default The English Plural

    We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes; One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese; You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

    If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen ?
    If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet ?
    If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth ?

    Then one may be that, & three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose; And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
    We speak of a brother & also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
    Then the masculine pronouns are he, his & him, But imagine the feminine: she, shis & shim !

    Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
    There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
    English muffins weren't invented in England.

    We take English for granted,
    but if we explore its paradoxes,
    We find that quicksand can work slowly,
    boxing rings are square;
    A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
    Why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, Grocers don't groce & hammers don't ham ?

    Doesn't it seem crazy that ...
    you can make amends but not one amend ?
    If you have a bunch of odds and ends ...
    and get rid of all but one of them,
    What do you call it ?

    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught ?
    If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
    what does a humanitarian eat ?

    Sometimes I think all people who speak English....

    Should be in an asylum for the verbally insane.
    In what other language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital ?

    We ship by truck but send cargo by ship ...
    We have noses that run & feet that smell; We park in a driveway & drive in a parkway.
    And how can a slim chance & a fat chance be the same, while a wise man & a wise guy are opposites ?

    You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down; In which you fill in a form by filling it out, & in which an alarm goes off by going on.

    And in closing ....

    If Father is Pop ....

    how come Mother's not Mop ? ? ? ?
    MY BRAIN HAS A MIND OF IT'S OWN

  2. #2
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    Red face Re: The English Plural

    Quote Originally Posted by Borat View Post
    ... If Father is Pop ....

    how come Mother's not Mop ? ? ? ?
    tis 1 cmi ...

    replace father wif papa makes mor logical sens ...

    ... juz another 3.5224˘ worth ... (gst 7%, inflation 8% (2008) n tariff 21% (2008), 23.32% (2010), 9.8%(2011) incl.) ...
    fr n original, humble 2˘ ... u now got a whopping 3.5224˘ worth fr me! ...
    tis value is fully guaranteed (wun morning say dun guarantee & @ nite say guarantee) ...
    ...


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    Default Re: The English Plural

    Quote Originally Posted by po2wq View Post
    tis 1 cmi ...

    replace father wif papa makes mor logical sens ...
    In our context you are right, I will try and change if I can.
    MY BRAIN HAS A MIND OF IT'S OWN

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    Talking Re: The English Plural

    Quote Originally Posted by Borat View Post
    In our context you are right, I will try and change if I can.
    actuarry hor ...

    if papa is pop, mama is mom makes goot "iq-test" sens ...

    if papa is pop, mama is mop fails in "iq-test" sens ...
    Last edited by po2wq; 13-05-2012 at 05:23 AM.

    ... juz another 3.5224˘ worth ... (gst 7%, inflation 8% (2008) n tariff 21% (2008), 23.32% (2010), 9.8%(2011) incl.) ...
    fr n original, humble 2˘ ... u now got a whopping 3.5224˘ worth fr me! ...
    tis value is fully guaranteed (wun morning say dun guarantee & @ nite say guarantee) ...
    ...


    world cup 2014 chiobu n colorful fans updated: 2day
    octopus regina makes world cup 2014 predictions updated: 25jun

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    Default Re: The English Plural

    Quote Originally Posted by po2wq View Post
    actuarry hor ...

    if papa is pop, mama is mom makes "iq-test" sens ...
    The ending is bad becos' the thread is about plurals.
    MY BRAIN HAS A MIND OF IT'S OWN

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    Default Re: The English Plural

    I can explain the "no ham in hamburger" part.

    A hamburger got its name because it started life as a "hamburg steak". That's where the "ham" came from.

    There could be similar explanations for many of the other anomalies in the language.


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    Default Re: The English Plural

    Quote Originally Posted by Borat View Post
    The ending is bad becos' the thread is about plurals.
    Found a better ending than the American version. Here it is...

    "English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it."
    MY BRAIN HAS A MIND OF IT'S OWN

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    Default Re: The English Plural

    Quote Originally Posted by Borat View Post
    If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen ?
    There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
    you can make amends but not one amend ?
    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught ?
    The plural of pan is pans, but the plural of pen is penis.
    If there is no ham in hamburger, does it mean there is no sam in samburger?
    Amends can be a noun or a verb, but amend is only a verb.
    Preachers don't praught, but some of have prod.

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    Default Re: The English Plural

    Quote Originally Posted by po2wq View Post
    replace father wif papa makes mor logical sens ...
    If papa means father, why does pappy mean grandfather?

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    Default Re: The English Plural

    A mastery of the quirks of any language is as fun as it is challenging.

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    Default Re: The English Plural

    Quote Originally Posted by jw5 View Post
    The plural of pan is pans, but the plural of pen is penis.
    If there is no ham in hamburger, does it mean there is no sam in samburger?
    Amends can be a noun or a verb, but amend is only a verb.
    Preachers don't praught, but some of have prod.
    there is no sand in a sandwich

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    Default Re: The English Plural

    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie99 View Post
    there is no sand in a sandwich
    The sandwich was invented by the Earl of Sandwich... hence the name.


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  13. #13
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    Default Re: The English Plural

    Quote Originally Posted by Leongsam View Post
    The sandwich was invented by the Earl of Sandwich... hence the name.
    Thanks. I am aware, but just for fun.

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